I love to sleep. It really is the best of both worlds. You get to be alive and unconscious. ...
Yo mammas breath so nasty that when she burps her teeth have to duck ...
Q: How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday?? A: Tell them a joke on Wednesday!! ...
What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? 45 lbs ...
What's the difference between a man and a dog? A man wears a suit, a dog just pants. Did you hear about the prawn that went to a nightclub - he pulled a mussel. A man walks into a surgery "doctor" he cries "I think I'm shrinking" "I’m sorry, sir th ...
Where does Sadaam Hussein keep his cds? In a rack. What did the mummy cow say to the baby calf before it was live exported? Veal meet again. I used to work with a bald headed geezer who had tattoos of Rabbits all over his head. From a distance they ...
Two cannibals were at a circus eating a clown. The one turned to the other and said, "Does this taste funny to you?" A man walks into a psychiatrist's office wearing nothing but a pair of cling-film underpants. As he sits down, the psychiatrist says, " ...
There are three types of people in this world - those who can count and those who can't. What do you call someone who used to like tractors? An ex-tractor fan. ...
I spilt spot remover on my dog... now he's gone. What do you call a woman with 5 classes of beer balanced on her head? "Beertricks" A man walks into a pub with a lump of tarmac under his arm. 'A pint please, landlord' he says. 'And one for the road ...
My last holiday was terrible, I flew with BA. He just kept shouting “You crazy Fool, I aint getting on no plane!” ...
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