A woman desperately looking for work goes to the Tickle Me Elmo Factory. The Personnel Manager goes over her resume and explains to her that he regrets that he has no jobs worthy of her skills. The woman answers that she really needs work and will take al ...
This is a bricklayer's accident report that was printed in the newsletter of the English equivalent of the Workers' Compensation Board. So here, thanks to John Sedgwick, is this Bricklayer's report. Dear Sir; I am writing in response to your request ...
After 35 years of carrying the mail through all kinds of weather to the same neighborhood, the mailman was going to retire. When he arrived at the first house on his route, he was greeted by the whole family who roundly and soundly congratulated him and s ...
This memo is to announce the development of a new software system which will be Year 2000 compliant. This program is known as 'Millennia Year Application Software System' (MYASS). Next Monday there will be a meeting in which I will show MYASS to every ...
I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter. It sounds like English, but I can't understand a w ...
Tom is applying for a job as a signalman for the local railroad and is told to meet the inspector at the signal box. The inspector decides to give Tom a pop quiz, asking: 'What would you do if you realized that two trains were heading towards each othe ...
The manager hired a new secretary. She was young, sweet and polite. One day while taking dictation, she noticed his fly was open. While leaving the room, she courteously said, 'Oh, sir, did you know that your barracks door is open?' He did not underst ...
International Marketing - Actual Accounts Cracking an international market is a goal of most growing corporations. It shouldn't be that hard, yet even the big multi-nationals run into trouble because of language and cultural differences. For example... ...
Two weeks ago was my 44th birthday and I wasn't feeling too hot that morning. I went down to breakfast knowing my wife would be pleasant and say "Happy Birthday" and probably have a present for me. She didn't even say "Good Morning", let alone any "Happy ...
The owner of a golf course in Texas was confused about paying an invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help. He called her into his office and said, "You graduated from the University of Texas. If I were to give you $20,000, mi ...
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